In the time of COVID 19, our schedules have vanished. In its place there is nothing but spare time, drifting off until goodness knows when. In my experience, there is nothing worse for a depressive than empty space.
For me, I have two triggers for my depression. The first one comes out of self esteem -- I suck. I'm an idiot. Why do I bother existing. Nothing I want will come true. It's pointless.
I still haven't figured out a solution for this one.
The second one often stems from boredom and lack of purpose, however, which is why we'll later explore in more depth. In my previous post, I talked about all the things I do to keep myself sane. To do this, you need to figure out what it is that still interests you.
There are multiple categories here, but I find the best way is to look at 3 main factors. You have passions, hobbies, and interests. There are important distinctions between the three, and if you mix them up, like I have, you're going to be in trouble, because the most important part of the schedule is that it not be arbitrary, boring, or forcing you to do things you don't want to do. So there's needs and wants on the schedule, and then there's things you've been meaning to do.
So let's look at passions. This is the thing that when you do it, the whole world stops. You lose track of time. You get addicted and you can't breathe right. You think if you had time and money you'd make a career out of it -- or maybe you love it so much you couldn't stand the idea of it as a career. Maybe it's music, magic, cross country skiing. Whatever it is, you live for it. If it was taken away, you'd feel like you couldn't manage. Maybe you haven't found this yet, or maybe you've forgotten. I bet you've forgotten. Think back on what you liked to do as a kid. Were you always into nature? Books? Comics? Chances are you still love them.
Passions should drive your schedule. They're the things that you should be learning in, growing it, finding ways to practice. It will help you feel alive.
Hobbies are the things you enjoy doing, but don't make you lose track of time. You'll happily spend a few hours sewing, or playing the piano, but you don't feel all that motivated to go out and master the entire soundtrack of frozen, or pull an all nighter sewing a dress. It's fun, and you like it, but that's it. It's a good way to pass the time. You can use these in your schedule when you're sick of your passions or you just want to shake things up. It's good to remember your hobbies.
Interests are things that you enjoy reading about or things that you find yourself scrolling through on reddit, but you haven't really gotten around to doing. You don't mind it when you flick on netflix and see a documentary on it, but it's only there when its . . . well, there.
Interests are good things to keep in mind when you're scrolling through the internet and trying to pretend like you're not bored out of your skull. It's a way to take control of your downtime again.
Sick of reading the news or about some new celeb thing? Find materials (either an ebook, a reddit thread, or a you tube video) about this thing and save it somewhere where you'll come back to it.
So these are your wants -- think too about your goals. What is it you really want to do. Money and time and skill are no object. Think about what you really want to do. Then find a way to do it, one step at a time. Use your downtime wisely.
When you're developing your schedule, also be aware of what you need, both as an individual and a human. As an individual, maybe you don't think your day is perfect until you've watched the newest episode of your favorite show, or maybe catching up on the news is important to you. Blend these into your day. As a human, remember that you need to eat, sleep, and shower. If you go without these essentials, you will suffer.
Keep in mind that human contact, whether you're texting or skyping someone can make a difference. So can exercise, even if it's a five minute walk or three yoga poses. It's something.
Remember to schedule leisure into your day. I only schedule my day until three, because I know that I need the downtime. In between activities, I also wind down.
Lastly, think about your natural schedule. When are you the most productive? When are you the most happy? Are you a morning person? Or are you most awake at 2 am?
Find what works for you.
And good luck.
~ Emery
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